Let's play a game. How about we convince someone to visit Guatemala even though they're totally nervous about the trip, and then see how many times in one week we can put their life at risk!
Poor Tracey. Tracey and I have been friends for over ten years, ever since she trained me for my first job with the DD community. I like Tracey a lot; she's always been very supportive and we share a love for traveling, so I wasn't surprised when she told me she'd be interested in coming to visit. As we got closer to her trip, she started getting nervous about safety in the country. I did my best to reassure her that despite what's in the news back home, Guatemala is no more dangerous than the states. You need to use your head and not put yourself in bad situations, but generally it's a great place to travel. You have to remember too that I've had no bad experiences here (other than a few death-defying bus rides).
Tracey got in on Friday afternoon and we left the next morning for our trip. Even though I've been here for almost a full year now (anniversary is next week, woohoo!), I really haven't done much traveling. First on our list was the super popular tourist attraction Semuc Champey. Tons of people have been here before and told me to go, but I honestly wasn't super interested. I knew it was some park with a river in the woods, and while I love nature, it didn't seem worth an eight hour car ride to get there. Tracey's trip was a good excuse to finally check it out.
Steph was bringing her mom Sue along with Charlotte, Charlotte's mom Diane, and Diane's friend Marilyn, so there was a nice big group of us. We took a shuttle from Antigua to Lanquin, a small village about a half hour from the park. The drive was pretty nice until we got to the end. To get to Lanquin you need to leave the main road and drive through the mountains for about 40 minutes. The roads were all dirt and there was barely enough room for cars to get by one another. Every time another car would come by we'd have to crawl along the very edge of the road which dropped off to a cliff. There we no guard rails or anything, so everyone would hold their breath and close their eyes until we were passed.
But we survived! We got to Lanquin as it was getting dark. The plan was to get a pick up truck from our hotel to drive us the half hour into the park where we were staying the night. We got into the truck, they drove us twenty feet down the road and told us we were there. They had brought us to their sister hotel in Lanquin. We explained that we had reservations in the other hotel, overlooking the river. The hotel dude told us that they didn't have room for us so we would have to stay in the sister hotel for one night, then we could move over to the other one the next day. We weren't super happy about that plan, and he was acting really jerky to us while we talked about our options. Tracey and I were already planning on staying in the sister hotel the second night in order to catch an early transport back to Antigua and our group didn't want to get split up so we just told him that we'd stay in the sister hotel both nights and visit the park during the day. We weren't happy but we didn't have much of a choice.
As soon as we started towards our rooms, a boy stopped us and asked if we'd like a tour of some bat caves. The price was good (Q30 a person for an entrance fee, then whatever tip we felt like giving him for his tour fee) so we decided to go for it. We piled into the back of his pickup truck and he and his friend drove us into the woods. By the time we got out it was pitch black. We were each handed a candle and we started walking down a dirt trail. After a few minutes we saw a cluster of candlelight in the woods. Our guide explained that it was a group of folks doing a ceremony. He said that they were "bad" ceremonies and that group was looked upon almost like a cult, so they weren't allowed to use the caves. The caves are very important for the Mayan people in the area; they use them for their ceremonies every few months and they're closed to tourists during that time. I tried to get him to explain the difference between a bad ceremony and a good one, and he said something about how true Mayans should only use chickens or turkeys for sacrifices and the bad group was using something else. I told him he was pulling my chain and just trying to freak us out, but he actually did seem to be telling the truth. Then he explained that they were sacrificing goats which apparently is a no-no in their society. It was interesting to learn about, but I was a little unsettled. It's a little to easy to imagine a horror movie which starts with tourists being led into a pitch black cave system and then being attacked by a shunned cult with questionable sacrificing practices.
Crazy people in the woods don't scare us!
It was so incredibly dark out that we didn't even notice when we had entered the cave; all of a sudden we were surrounded by rock walls instead of trees.
Just a little dark
No need to be creeped out. Oh, except for this incredibly creepy face that's naturally carved into the cave
Steph channeling her inner Lara Croft
It took me about three seconds to see a major problem. I've been to a few caves and mines in the States and I guess I didn't really put enough thought into the fact that we were in Guatemalan caves, not American caves. In Guatemala, people don't sue other people for accidents so there's none of the precautions like back home. Not only was this cave pitch black (except for our candles), but handrails were few and far between. Most of the walking involved climbing steep rocks that were wet and uneven. Charlotte's mom and friend were in their 60s, and while they were in great physical condition, having them rock climbing in the dark is probably not a great idea. The rest of my cave trip became centered on keeping them alive and in one piece. It was definitely much more stressful for me than for them because they don't speak Spanish. At one point we were walking along the edge of a crevice and they were slipping all over the place and laughing. The tour guide (who's all of 17 and is obviously oblivious to any kind of dangerous situation) keeps rattling off his random facts that he gives on every tour. The rock here is marble. This is a stalactite. That crevice you're walking next to is over 300 feet deep. WHAT?! That's not "oops, you fell and broke your ankle", that's "oops, your mangled body is now going to stay in this Guatemalan cave because it's too damn deep to drag you out of here." After that I was like an overbearing dad. "Ladies, stop falling behind. Watch your step. Hold my hand. Get away from that edge." The guide was zero help, he was chatting up the girls and actually had me lead the group at times. I was like, um dude, maybe some clueless guy from New Jersey is not the best choice for choosing a path through the cave system.
Optimistic even in the face of death
Thank GOD we got out of there in one piece. We stumbled back to the truck in pitch blackness because for some reason the guide snubbed all the candles the second we were outside. We got to the truck, handed him his money and then climbed in. Then his buddy got out of the truck and asked, "So who's going to pay me? It's Q10 each for using the truck." I told him that that wasn't part of the price we were told, and the truck should be part of the tour fees. He got mad and said that now we had to pay Q100 to get back to the hotel. I was fucking livid. We started arguing and I told them that they were trying to rip us off. They started talking to each other in the Mayan language so I couldn't understand what they were saying, but I'm sure I could guess. This isn't the first time that I've realized my knowledge of swear words in Spanish is unfortunately limited. In the end we had no choice but to pay the guy. He dropped us off at the hotel and sped off without a word, and it put me in an awful mood. I hated that our first night there our family and friends had seen such a negative example of the Guatemalan people. To make things even better, when we walked into the hotel that jerky manager guy met us and told us that he had found rooms for us in the hotel in the park and we could go stay there now. We told him that it was okay, we were just going to stay in the sister hotel because we were tired. He said that wasn't an option, we needed to leave because he needed our rooms for another group. We told him we wanted to eat first (it was almost 9 and we hadn't eaten) and he told us no, that we needed to go to the other hotel first. We were all really annoyed. I told him that Tracey and I couldn't go because we needed to spend the next night in the sister hotel anyway for our transport. He made a phone call and organized transport for us from the other hotel for early Monday morning, so at least that helped. We got into another pick up truck and drove the half hour to the other hotel. We were given nice rooms there, ate a quick dinner and then passed out.
The next morning we woke up and were greeted by a gorgeous view of the river. I've never seen a river that blue before, it was like Caribbean water.
As we were getting ready to walk into the park, the hotel staff told us our real rooms were ready and asked us to move our stuff over to them. Apparently the rooms the night before were the only ones open when we came, but what we paid for was actually in another building. I wasn't thrilled being led to yet a third room since our arrival, but the hotel staff here were very nice and apologetic, so we went willingly. The dorms were very nice, too.
We walked down to the park and decided to start off with a hike. Yay! Here's the gang ready for adventure
It was awesome hiking in the jungle, but we soon realized it was way steeper than we thought. That's was about as fun as it looks.
But at least there were plenty of photo ops
Trace and I made it to the top an hour and a half later sweating and out of breath. It was worth the view though, incredibly beautiful.
After the hike we made our way back down the mountain and went to the pools. So this river flows really slowly before meeting up with all the natural springs from the mountain, after which is runs much stronger. Because it's so slow at this point, it forms these shallow pools that you can swim in. They're each about 4 or 5 feet deep, and are almost like a set of stairs; one pool flows down into the next one. The water was crystal clear and there was almost no one there. We spent an hour or so swimming around, playing with the little fish and enjoying the forest. It was one of the best experiences I've had since coming to Guatemala.
Further down the river
We regrouped at the hotel and then a few of us went off on the next adventure, another candle-lit cave tour. Charlotte's mom and friend decided to take a pass and Tracey had had her fair share of caving, so Steph, her mom Sue, Charlotte and I trekked off together. I couldn't bring my camera, but the walk to the cave was great. There were little streams and waterfalls coming down the mountain, everything was covered in moss and ivy. We walked upstream until we came to a cave that the river was flowing out of. We were all handed a candle, we dropped into the freezing water and made our way inside.
The water got deep quickly and as we got further away from the entrance, things got dark. Soon the floor disappeared and we were left swimming in the blackness, one arm stretched up to try to keep the candle from getting wet. Let me tell ya, swimming with one hand is pretty tough, it's basically hard-core doggy paddling. My mouth was permanently at water level and the second I stopped paddling my head would go under. It was not a relaxing experience.
Eventually we got to a large rock wall. There was a small metal ladder hanging from a rope, we needed to climb the ladder up about 30 feet (while holding our candles in one hand), then shimmy off and crawl on our hands and knees through a space between the top of the rock and the ceiling. I was praying that the rope was strong enough to support my weight while going up and was really relieved to get off of it. Then we had to climb down a ladder on the other side which was even worse, but at least if I fell off of that one I would have landed in water.
We continue swimming deep into this cave, all the while we're hearing roaring water getting closer and closer. I'm starting to get worried that we're going to pop out at the top of a huge hundred foot waterfall or something, but it was actually about 30 feet tall and we were on the bottom of it. The water was crashing down and it was hard to hear anyone talk. The guide points to the waterfall and then I notice a rope hanging down next from the darkness. Let me tell you something, nothing strikes fear into my heart quite like a hanging rope. I had flashbacks of gym class circut training tests where we all had to attempt to climb in front of everyone. Not once have I ever climbed a rope. Knots, boosts from gym teachers, fear of humiliation; nothing has ever gotten me up there, I just don't have enough upper arm strength for my body. So here we are in this cave, and I'm freaking out that I will now be stuck living in the dark cave Gollum style for the rest of my life, or worse, be the reason that the entire group now needs to turn around and go back the way we came.
I think the guide saw the depths of my fear, because then he told us that if we don't want to climb the rope up, we can swing through the waterfall like Tarzan and reach for a ladder that's on the other side. Well, I was like a little gazelle. I bounded right over, grabbed the rope and dove into the waterfall without a second thought. I grabbed the ladder (still scary, but at least my chances of escape were significantly higher than with the rope). It was about thirty feet up, where there was a narrow ledge. We had to inch over to where the river was falling over the cliff, then hop from stone to stone to cross the other side. Good times.
Anyway, this cave story is getting really long, I think you get the idea. We ended up in a little black cavern at the back of this river where people had the chance to climb up a rock wall and then jump into the water. I volunteered to hold everyone's candle. Then the guide announced that we were going back the same way we came, which made another tourist who was with us practically cry. She, like all of us, knew that it was a miracle no one had died on the way in. Experiences like this have helped me develop a theory that Guatemalans are religious simply because getting through a day unscathed is like touching the hand of God. The odds are so against you and yet there you are, climbing into bed at night still in one piece.
As we finally swam down to the entrance of the cave and we started seeing sunshine, I could feel all the tension leaving. People openly wept, the survivors clutched at one another as they made their way down the forest trail, knowing that they'd forever be bonded by the shared experience of cheating death. Okay, maybe not quite. I may have been the only one weeping, but I know that behind the stares that everyone was giving me was the message of understanding and brotherhood.
We got back to the hotel and the guy there told us that there was no transport for the morning. Tracey and I needed to leave for the sister hotel so we could pick up the shuttle in the morning. No, not after dinner with our friends, now. We were done fighting this battle. We said goodbye to the group and made our way back to Lanquin where we enjoyed a rather uneventful evening before heading back to Antigua.
So, to sum things up: Semuc is beautiful, but in the way that a cobra is beautiful. I would recommend it to anyone! No, really I would. It was awesome.
